Have you ever found yourself in a state of disarray, where you can’t find your creativity, and you feel uneasy and that you need something, but you are not quite sure of what it is?
I’m sure you have. We all have.
It’s a place that when you find yourself in it, you want to get away as fast as possible.
You feel no good can come from this, and you just want to be back to your happy place.
And it seems that no matter how hard you try, you’re stuck here.
So what is this place you find yourself in? You might be in the middle of a change, or perhaps in a situation that is out of your control.
This feeling that you have, of wanting to get away from this state as fast as possible, is called resistance.
When you are in the middle of it all, resistance feels like the right answer. You don’t want to be here! Resist, resist, resist! Maybe you’ll be able to control the outcome after all (even though you already know this is very unlikely).
And even if you have recognized that you are currently in resistance, it can be so very hard to take positive action because your entire being is now trapped in the resistance mindset.
I have been here myself, many times. So I wanted to share with you 6 ways that have helped me get out of the rut of resistance. Even if do these reluctantly, I am still able to come out on the other side:
1. Blessing in Disguise: you might not want to think of your current situation as a blessing in disguise, especially if you are hoping for a specific outcome but it is out of your hands. Only in time you will be able to look back and see why this event happened (or didn’t happen) in the way you hoped, so take a leap of faith and trust that this is for the best. Deep breaths! This also brings me to the second point:
2. Surrender: Ah, yes. This is one of the hardest things to do, especially if you consider yourself a control freak, like I am. Let go of expectations and any action that you know deep inside is pointless and will probably only bring you more grief. Instead, open your heart and focus on things you can do and that bring you joy:
3. Take part in Uplifting Activities: you can take part in a hobby you enjoy, volunteer, or perhaps create a happiness jar! Author Elizabeth Gilbert describes her ritual of creating a happiness jar as at the end of each day, she writes something happy that happened on that day, and puts it in a jar.
Gilbert does this daily, and even on lousy days, she finds there is at least one happy thing that took place. So when she is in a rut (or in resistance), she pulls a piece of paper or two from the jar to uplift her spirit. I think it’s a beautiful way to practice gratitude and focus on the positive on a daily basis!
4. Take your Self-Care Routine up a Notch: perhaps you already have an established self-care routine that works for you. But you will find that in the middle of resistance, you feel tempted to let it go. It’s almost as if you want to feel as bad as you can, because you are in the middle of this hurricane and you don’t want to leave it (but you do).
So instead of letting it go, do something special for yourself in addition to your current routine. Perhaps it’s been a while since you spoke to a dear friend, or did something nourishing for yourself, such as time alone, a walk in the park, or a yoga session. If you don’t have a self-care routine in place, this is a great time to add something and get started. Which brings me to the next point:
5. Listen to Your Body: if you tune inside, you will get the answer to what you need to get out of resistance and back to your fabulous self. Pay attention to any cravings, feelings and thoughts. Do you need an afternoon of solitude or perhaps a weekend? Do you need community? Are you more tired than usual and in need of a good night’s sleep?
Figure out what you want and make arrangements to make it happen.
6. Find Guidance: it can be beneficial to talk about your feelings with a trusted friend, or even just journaling about it. If you believe in a higher power, you might find guidance from oracle cards. I have been using the Daily Guidance from your Angels oracle cards by Doreen Virtue and I find that the positive messages I receive truly help me see my situation on a different light. Find what works for you.
Whenever you find yourself in resistance, I hope you can apply at least one of these tips so you can get back to being the awesome mama you are. You deserve the very best!